Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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