if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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