I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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