So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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