Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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