This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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