the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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