There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
