my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
