i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
