But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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