i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
