can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
