So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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