We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Actions speak louder than pants.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
