wanna go halves on a baby?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
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I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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