no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
