Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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