Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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