I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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