Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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