This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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