we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
