I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
