ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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