i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i need some magic done to my vagina
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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