Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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