Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
