i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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