So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i came on her dog
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
