Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
