I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
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I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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