i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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