She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
