Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
