Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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