12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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