I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize