Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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