wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
