Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
