it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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