he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
