You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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