from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
