I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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