:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
