Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
