Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize