Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
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