yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
