Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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