I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i think my cat just said my name.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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