lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize