Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
