I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
