bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
