Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize