He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize