U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize