he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
