Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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