there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
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Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
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I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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