I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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