I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
