Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
