She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
