I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize