I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So much Jack, so little girl.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
