let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
