I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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