State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
